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Role of Fathers

Role of Fathers

Role of Fathers_bg1(1)

Dr David Ang is the Chairman of the CAC Board of Family Life. He is also a member of Kum Yan Methodist Church. David has been married to Amy for 28 years now and they have 3 children—Emmanuel, 25; Isaac, 21; and Gracia, 19.

Greetings from the CAC Board of Family Life.

To all fathers and fathers-to-be in CAC and beyond, Happy Fathers’ Day!

It is indeed a special day when we celebrate and remember fathers and their fatherhood journey.

NORTHERN LIGHTS

At the mention of the word ‘father’, the image of “Northern Lights” come to my mind.  In the past, in the absence of navigation technology, people moved around using the Northern Lights as their guide.

Fathers are like the Northern Lights as they show the direction where their children should go in life, be it in their studies, vocational pursuit, marriage or family matters.  A sky in complete darkness without the Northern Lights is an unimaginable situation as the travellers would be completely lost.  In their confusion, they will often become fearful and anxious.  Such is the case for children in homes where fathers or fatherly influence are absent.  The children, and even the wives in the case of husbands, are left with a grave sense of “loss” as they do not have someone acting as a compass, pointing to and showing the correct direction, making the hard decisions or taking the right actions.  This sense of loss leads to feelings of insecurity, fear and self-doubt. If left unattended, they remain and become worse as they grow older.

Fathers are like Northern Lights because they give out light.  When in complete pitch darkness, a light that shines through offers hope, gives life and another chance in life.  Fathers are the persons that children and the family turn to for hope, especially in a time when their worlds seem to be in darkness and without hope.  Fathers, like the Northern Lights, shine forth a hope which will light up the downtrodden heart of the children or provide a glimpse of the possibility of taking another shot when life has been marred with incidences of failure.  The light emanating from the Northern Light is like a father telling his child, “Keep trying, the world has not turned to complete darkness yet.  I am still shining for you, and I will still shine with you into your future.”

A child of the father, who acts as the Northern Light, is assured.  He knows his welfare is being cared for, he feels a sense of being able to rely on and being loved by the father.  This assurance and security, built out of love, grow as the child continues to receive love and protection from his father, the human “Northern Light”.  This child, with what is cultivated in him, moves on in life to be that Northern Light for his future family and hence this love and assurance pass from one generation to another, growing stronger with each generation.

A STORY

To illustrate the critical role of a fatherly figure in a family, below is an extract of the story by Wade Horn, Ph.D., President of the National Fatherhood Initiative, published in an article titled “Of Elephants and Men”.

Some years ago, due to overcrowding at the Kruger National Park in South Africa, some female elephants and juvenile male elephants were transported to other African parks, as they did not have the means to transport the larger African bull male elephants.  Thereafter, carcasses of endangered white rhinoceros were discovered in the new park, killed violently not by gunshots.  Investigations found that the culprits were the relocated juvenile male elephants.  They were caught on camera aggressively pursuing the rhinoceros, knocking them over, stomping and goring them to death with their tusks.  The juvenile elephants terrorised other animals too.  Such behaviour was very rare among elephants.  The problem was discussed and a theory surfaced.  What had been missing from the relocated herd was the presence of the large dominant bull elephants which had been left behind at Kruger.  In natural circumstances, the adult bull elephants provide modelling behaviours for the  younger elephants, keeping them in line.  Left without bull adult models, the younger elephants were missing the civilising influence of their elders, as nature intended.  Subsequently, when the older bull elephants were flown into the new park, within weeks, the violent behaviour of the juvenile elephants stopped.

FATHERS NEED TO BE FATHERED

Having served in the fathering movement over the last 7 to 8 years, it has been observed that most, if not all, fathers are earnest and sincere in their efforts to be good fathers to their children. Unfortunately, for some fathers, the fruits of their efforts have been limited by one single factor; the lack of being fathered by Father God Himself.  God is the ultimate Father in the universe. He alone exemplifies the finest and best fathering.  Our Father God’s fathering is centred and grounded solely in love (1 Cor 13).  Love is the key motivation, reason and result of the fathering by Father God Himself.  When the father receives this love from Father God, he will dispense the same fathering love to his children.  A fathering ethos arising from Father God can impact perspectives on things which the world deem important, eg, performing ahead of the curve, being in the top of the class, always excelling and meeting expectations.  This worldly-based fathering is contrary to Godly fathering.  To father a child for Godly character and makeup, the father needs to learn (and be fathered) by God in order for him to pass this to his children.

My encouragement to you this Fathers’ Day, is to learn from our Father in Heaven.  First, be a son and when we have learnt sonship in God, we would then learn His ways of fathering.  Blessed Fathers’ Day!

Dr David Ang
Chairperson of CAC Board of Family Life
Member of Kum Yan Methodist Church


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